Chapter 13

I really enjoyed reading all of chapter 13. There were so many different areas that I could relate to in this chapter so it was hard to pick just one to blog about. However conflicting styles won out in the end. For me it’s a toss up between what two styles I would say are the best. Collaborating is the first. Isn’t that what any good relationship does, it’s a collaboration of two people in any situation coming together to promote solutions, goals and commitment together? And yes, I can understand that often it takes lots of energy and often feels like more work than anything else. On the other hand I think the style of Compromising is also works best. That’s what life is about, compromising, isn’t it? Any good relationship has its handful of compromising. And although the disadvantages involve scarifies by both people involved, don’t all types have some level of sacrifice to a degree? For example, you may not always want to go with you partner to that rock concert if you like classical but you sacrifice make a compromise and do it because of what the relationship means to you. One style I have been experiencing for a while is that of Withdraw and Avoidance. The story at the beginning of the chapter and this style really hit home for me this week. You see, I have this great job, that I use to love. However, my boss, who I use to be close too hired someone who just doesn’t fit right in our department of three. And over the past 5 years, he is the third person in that position. My colleague is well in a manner of words, unprofessional and very inexperienced for the position they hold. But, for my bosses own personal private reasons, she feels this person is great and perfect for the job. Unfortunately my colleague has not only disrupted the department but also the small company as well. Sadly there is a division between the a few other departments and the one I am in due to this colleague. In any case, my boss and I have become increasingly distant in the last 8 months. My boss has become quite unbearable to work with at times and when we differ or something goes array in our department her and I use the style of Withdraw and Avoid. Whenever I have a problem with my boss and her ethics, my colleague or whatever is going on at the time, instead of confronting her, I just avoid the situation. I mean, my job gives me extreme flexibility with my school schedule and that’s why I keep the job and my mouth shut so that I don’t get fired. I also no longer confront my boss because she isn’t willing to try out any of my solutions I offer because she sees it as a threat of me trying to take over, in which it’s the complete opposite. She use to be great boss and I am only trying to find ways to help fix things but she is closed off to any suggestions. I also don’t confront her anymore because she continues to make excuses for my colleague, such as, they are young and they need to learn and get use to this type of job. And my question to that is, this person was suppose to have experience in the job, they are 25 going on 26, so they aren’t that young and after 8 months of work, when are they finally going to catch on? LOL. So my boss essentially avoids confrontation with me by making excuses to try and make me understand why my colleague is the way they are and that my solutions are just not possible. In addition, anytime that my boss may have a problem or question about my work or a decision I have made, she doesn’t confront me to ask me, rather she sends an email or memo about the situation in hopes that I will respond to her that way in lieu of having a face to face conversation to work the problem. However, I only see my boss as being weak in her attempt to avoid the situation instead of finding ways to fix things. As for Competing style I see that as those people are selfish and Accommodating as weak people as well because they are pleasers and should take care of themselves just as much as the person they are engaging in a relationship with.